


Albedo, Albedo

by FrostGlass



Category: Ben 10 Series
Genre: Emotional, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Relationships, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow To Update, Tags Are Hard, i mean probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2020-08-10 22:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20143111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostGlass/pseuds/FrostGlass
Summary: Ben comes to a shocking realization that leaves his friends questioning Ben's sanity, and leaves Ben questioning his very existence. One name to sum up his problem? Albedo. [rated T for now. eventual friendship/romance. mentions of violence/blood, nothing graphic]





	1. Faded

**Author's Note:**

> -originally uploaded on FanFiction under my account Jane Glass-
> 
> Rated T for now. Probably a little AUish, or at least not really following all of the rules of Ben 10 completely. Ben is 19. Albedo is psychically 19.
> 
> Enjoy-

Ben had one job. One job, and that was to keep an eye on Albedo. Which had been easy at first. Well, not easy, nothing was easy about being around that stuck-up, know-it-all, but it hadn't been so difficult at first.

At first it went exactly how you'd imagine it; they got on each other's nerves, they annoyed each other, they would fight and then they would come back the next day and do it all over again. But still, that was expected after all of the things they had both done. All of the crap Albedo had done, really. But being around Albedo was bad enough, being around a broken Albedo? That was hell. Ben already had to keep an eye on him—which he hated, but accepted—but now he had to really keep an eye on him. Worse yet, he had to take care of him, watch after him. It was like helping the wild animal that just ate your arm, knowing full-well that the animal might still bite the other hand that's feeding it.

It wasn't like Ben could get out of it, though. Max had reasoned that it was best that Ben was the one, for several reasons. And honestly, Ben didn't believe any of the reasons, and had tried to get Max to find someone else, but it was impossible. Maybe the one reason he did believe was that Ben was the most willing; after all, nobody in their right mind would agree to watching Albedo.

So clearly Ben hadn't been thinking when he had eventually and reluctantly agreed to do it.

It had been about two weeks since he had agreed now, and he tried to think of the other "reasons" Max had believed in Ben to motivate himself while he drank his morning smoothie.

_"He may not like you, and I know you don't care much for him, but you two know each other."_

Ben supposed this was at least somewhat useful, but not in the same way that Max meant. To Ben, this just meant he wouldn't be tricked as easily as anyone else—if Albedo were to try to trick anyone, or when, for that matter. Though Ben had pretty much pushed for this project, it wasn't because he trusted Albedo. Because he didn't. Ben only threw his vote in on this because he had felt he had to. Max had been on the fence, and everyone else who knew Albedo thought the obvious thing, "Let him rot."

Ben had tried to contact Azmuth and ask him about it, but Azmuth told Ben that it wasn't his decision, and that he wasn't going to interfere with Albedo unless he absolutely had to. Ben thought this would be a absolutely-need-to situation—considering what had happened—but apparently not. Albedo's old mentor had decided he was pretty much done with him.

So everyone who actually cared one way or the other debated it, including his cousin and her boyfriend—not that what they said held much importance in comparison to what the Plumbers thought. Ben was sure that Max's opinion and his own were the ones held with higher regard. Which both terrified and amazed Ben. And maybe that's why he couldn't decide at first. After him and his grandpa threw around ideas for as long as they could—before Albedo gave them no choice—they had come to their decision.

Snorting a little, Ben stared at his drink, still trying to figure out how it had ended up being him who had to watch Albedo. No good deed goes unpunished, or something, he guessed.

_"If anyone can do this, it's you."_

He rolled his eyes at the thought, half pondering if Grandpa Max had mostly been buttering him up. Sure, if Albedo decided to do something that would be annoying, but not very difficult to handle. He couldn't understand at all what Max meant with that one. Why him? Why was he the best option? Because Albedo had his DNA? Had his face, more or less?

He was pulled from his thoughts, though, when Rook and two other Plumbers approached his table, Albedo standing among them. Ben stood up, meeting Albedo's eyes at once and trying to gauge Albedo's mood today, but just like every day, Albedo kept his emotions well guarded behind the mask that was his face.

"Sit," Ben said, motioning to a chair across from where he had been sitting. Albedo didn't say anything as he sat down; he never did, never even argued. But Ben didn't think about it too much, turning to Rook, "Joining me today?"

"I was told that that might not be the best idea, Ben." Rook gave him a weird look, like he was hoping Ben would catch onto some other meaning in Rook's words. Ben frowned at him, shaking his head, and Rook sighed, "Albedo is-erm, having a bad day."

"Rook? English?" Ben asked, still confused. He knew he wasn't getting the whole picture, and he hoped that that was Rook's fault and not just his own fault for being daft.

Rook glanced at Albedo and then back to Ben quickly, looking reluctant, before pulling a note from one of the bags on his belt. Ben couldn't be more confused by the situation, but he took the note that Rook was now holding out to him. He unfolded the small bit of paper, glancing towards Rook. The words written there were small and messy, but Ben could still read it. He glanced towards Albedo too now, but Albedo didn't look up from where he was sitting.

Sighing quietly, Ben looked back to Rook and shrugged as he handed the note back, "I'll see you later, then."

"Call me if you require my assistant with anything." With that Rook turned, taking the other two Plumbers with him, but Ben still called after him sarcastically,  
"What, you mean when he suddenly becomes dangerous?"

Rook didn't respond, just throwing Ben his "Ben-this-isn't-funny" look, and Ben gave him a grimace-smile in return, meaning he didn't care. He liked to think they understood each other so well. He sat back down at the table after him and Rook had finished their exchanging of looks, deciding to re-focus on his smoothie. Small talk—if you could call it that—never goes well with Albedo anyways, so it was probably better to sit in silence until he had something to actually say. And sitting in silence with Albedo was generally more comfortable for both of them, so the more silence the better.

And yet he found himself thinking about the note, and found himself wanting to ask about it. He glanced up, trying to be subtle as he sipped his smoothie. Albedo wasn't looking towards him, but to something off to the side, and yet Ben got the feeling that he was looking without really seeing. His eyes weren't focused, they weren't wandering, they were just...far off.

Ben decided now wasn't one of those time where silence was better, or that maybe this was the exception to the rule, but either way he didn't need Albedo thinking—well, whatever it was he was thinking.

"Hey," Ben finally broke the silence, biting his lip as he tried to decide what to say while red eyes finally met his. "So...you're having a bad day." It wasn't a question, and yet it wasn't really a statement. Ben knew for sure that it was regrettable, though.

Albedo shrugged lightly, glancing down now and grabbing a few chili cheese covered fries. He was more or less a shell of who he had been. Didn't speak like he used to, and didn't look at Ben like he used to. In a way, Ben really missed some aspects of Albedo's old personality, before everything else happened. He missed bantering with him, which was the weirdest thing, and he didn't really understand it, because something in the back of his mind told him he should be happy that Albedo is finally quiet, and not an annoying, snarky, know-it-all.

He just couldn't find it in him to be thankful though. Sure, at first, he displayed some of who he was. And at least it was familiar at first, the way they would fight—even though Albedo had still been eerily quite, but they did annoy each other...at first. But at some point during the two weeks, it was like they reached some sort of understanding; Albedo needed Ben, and he made things easy for Ben as long as Ben was careful around him and didn't bother him.

Which, Ben supposed that should be considered a good thing. It was his job to help Albedo, and Albedo wasn't trying to be difficult. And yet...he still wished things could be different.

He sighed more loudly than he intended to, catching Albedo's attention without meaning to. Ben stood then, deciding to just play it off. "I'll go get you a smoothie." Albedo nodded.

It didn't take long to order the smoothie and pay for it, and he didn't even bother asking Albedo to go with him, as he wasn't far anyways from the window Ben was ordering at, just a few tables away.

He placed the smoothie on Albedo's side of the table when he returned and sat back down, knowing that Albedo wouldn't want any direct contact. Albedo took the smoothie, mumbling a low thank you under his breath, one that Ben barely caught.

"So...how are you feeling?" Ben asked, mostly because he didn't know what to ask, but he hoped it wasn't obvious.

Glancing at him, Albedo continued to sip on his smoothie for a moment before responding. "Great." With the look on his face, the disinterest, it was clearly sarcasm, but the way he said it didn't sound right. It sounded more empty than sarcastic. Ben frowned.

"Right," Ben nodded, "That's why you only wanted me to be here."

Albedo's jaw tensed visibly at that, holding the smoothie cup slightly tighter and drinking more now, as if to avoid talking about it. Ben couldn't help but enjoy any reaction he could get, though. Still, he knew pushing Albedo too much wasn't the way to go. "If you want to talk about it-"

"I know." Albedo said quickly, not looking at him.

"Right, so...anything you want to talk about?" Ben asked cautiously, taking another sip of his smoothie.

"No."

Ben stared at him, wanting to pry, but he shook his head. That wouldn't help anything, not right now. So he didn't ask again, and they spent the day mostly silent, and Ben took him with him to go shopping, before heading back to his house to play some video games, because why not? If he had to watch Albedo he might as well have some fun too, and he was at least keeping an eye on Albedo. Albedo mostly watched him play, which he seemed to somewhat enjoy, but eventually Ben did switch to something they could play together, even though Albedo was awful.

And Ben had to show him how to play a bit, which was...well, interesting. "No, no, the other button does that." Ben corrected him, pointing to the other side on the controller, and Albedo frowned, "I knew that, I just tapped the wrong one." He sounded annoyed, and they had another practice fight to test him again, to which he again pressed the wrong buttons, and somehow walked off the side of the platform.

"How did you even do that?" Ben asked, laughing at him, but Albedo didn't find it amusing, and only glared at the screen.

He did, eventually get pretty good at it. And then Ben realized it was already getting late, he was meant to take him back to his holding cell at some point. He sighed and glanced at the clock on his wall in his bedroom, and then looked back to the character selection on the screen, before getting up to turn it off.  
Albedo didn't protest and followed him from his room quietly, and into the hall leading to the living room and kitchen. Ben shouldn't have been surprised when his mother walked up from the corner of his eye, seeing as it wasn't that late, but he still jumped of his skin slightly, swearing under his breath.

"Didn't mean to startle." Sandra said, though she was smiling at his reaction, "Heading out?"

"Ahh, yeah, I was just..." He trailed off, glancing to Albedo, "Taking him back."

"Mm, well, alright. There's some dinner I can heat back up if you want to stay and eat first?" She offered, and Ben couldn't say no to the way she was looking at him, so hopeful and he knew she'd be sad if he turned her down now. It didn't help that he had skipped dinner. And so did Albedo, actually.

She re-heated the food and Ben set the table while quietly enjoying how uncomfortable Albedo looked, sitting in one of the chairs at the small table. He tried not to smirk or laugh at it though, and somehow managed to do a decently good job, as neither of them seemed to notice.

His mom didn't get anything to eat though, saying she already had dinner, but she stilled stayed and sat with them, drinking water and asking Ben how he's been and what he's been up to. Ben tried to keep his answers vague, not wanting to say what he had really been up to; not because he didn't want her to know—she already knew some of it, anyways—but because Albedo was sitting right there, and dealing with him was what he had been mostly up to.

It felt too strange to talk about too much, though. Yet, she ended up bringing it up directly.

"How've you been lately, Albedo?" She asked after a while, smiling a little at him.

Albedo glanced at her then, his face well masked, as usual. "I'm fine." There was just a hint of annoyance in his words, but she either didn't noticed, or didn't mind it.

"That's good, then." She said, nodding a little and drinking more of her water. Ben felt like an awkwardness would settle between the three of them, but in the next moment she started telling Ben about things that had happened recently with her friends, or their family, or even the neighbors. Really anyone they knew, which he didn't entirely mind. Was nice to hear about mundane things sometimes. And...at least her going on and on was normal to him.

It was almost relaxing, in fact. Almost. He still started to get tired of it pretty quickly, and eventually found an escape. "Want seconds, Albedo?" He asked when he could without fully interrupting her.

"No." Albedo said quickly, looking slightly annoyed by him.

"You sure?" Ben said, "Plenty more."

Albedo glared now, before getting up from the table and walking towards the dark living room.

"Where are your manners?" Ben called after him, trying not to smile again, and Sandra shook her head, smiling a little bit.

"He's fine." She said then, standing up and grabbing the dishes. Ben stood too then, smirking a little without meaning to. "Here, I can help with the dishes."

"It's fine-" She started, but he quickly interrupted, "I want to." And he did. It was normal. It was boring. It was...nice. She nodded then, smiling at him, and she hugged him and said goodnight before heading off, leaving him to wash the dishes in silence, which he found he enjoyed.

He washed their plates, cups and even a pot and a few pans that were soaking in the sink already. Which didn't take very long, but long enough really. He had sorta lost track of time anyways, but was soon heading into the dark living room, realizing he didn't know where Albedo was, but it didn't take long to spot him on one of the couches, seemingly asleep.

He approached him quietly before shaking his shoulder a little, "Albedo."

Albedo didn't move much though, didn't even mumble anything in his sleep, and Ben leaned towards him to make sure that he could hear him breathing. "Albedo, come on." He said then, shaking his arm a little again, and this time Albedo flinched, trying to pull back and suddenly kicking Ben's side at the same time, making Ben move back a little.

He watched as Albedo glanced around, taking in his surroundings and clearly taking a minute to realize where they were. Albedo stood up then, though he stood too quickly, almost falling and Ben reached out instinctively to help him, grabbing his upper arm, but Albedo pulled away again, stumbling, but regaining his balance fairly quickly.

Ben stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to do or say. "You okay?" He asked, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to.

"Ah, just disoriented." Albedo explained quietly, which Ben hadn't expected, and it left him staring for a moment, before pushing his luck. "You sure?"

Albedo glanced at him then, his red eyes barely visible in the dark room. He only hummed in response this time, and Ben nodded.

"You ready to head back then?" He asked, heading towards the door, but Albedo didn't say anything, just followed him out into the crisp night.

Ben could tell, he wasn't ready to head back. Because when they did, it was like Albedo was trying to find some way to prolong or avoid it. Ben wasn't sure why, though. Maybe it was because he didn't want to be in his cell again, or maybe there was something more. Maybe it was a desperate attempt to go free. Ben couldn't tell.

"Well," Ben cleared his throat, "Not gonna make them force you back in, are you?" He asked then, referring to the Plumbers nearby, watching them from a distant, but ready to act if needed.

Albedo shook his head, yet he moved away from the entrance to the cells, instead going back down the hall a bit, and the Plumbers nearby almost stepped forward, but Ben held up his hand to tell them to hold on, or back off, for now. Albedo wasn't running, after all.

So Ben joined him instead, walking down the hall a little at his side, "You okay?"

Albedo didn't answer though, glancing at him. He _clearly_ heard him, but looked down again, staying silent, and then he finally stopped, knowing better than to walk out of the hall completely. That would be a little too far.

Though, even with him behaving as much as he was, Ben was lost as to what to do.

"You know, asking me if I'm 'okay' is pointless, Tennyson." Albedo said suddenly, not harshly, but just quietly, with what sounded to Ben like a hopelessness.

Ben sighed a little then, feeling something heavy settling in him. He leaned against the wall, watching Albedo. "Yeah? Why's that?"

Barely glancing at him, Albedo leaned against the wall next to him. "Because my answer doesn't matter. If I'm okay then you'll say good, and if I'm not you'll ask me why. But either way, it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter, so the question is pointless."

"Humor me?" Ben asked, tilting his head as he stared at him, and Albedo sighed this time, so Ben went for it again. "Are you okay, Albedo?"

"I don't think I am."

"Mm. Why's that?"

Albedo glanced at him now, his red eyes guarded, his mouth a firm line. He stares at Ben for a long minute. "I assume you would know that already."

But Ben shrugged, not allowing Albedo to get away with it that easily, "I can't know how you feel exactly."

"No, you can't. And if I tried to explain, you wouldn't understand."

Ben swallowed with difficulty. He knew Albedo was reaching a limit to this now, yet he didn't want to let it go. "You don't know that, either."

Albedo didn't say anything now, his harsh gaze on the wall across from them, and Ben thought that was the end of that conversation. He pushed away from the wall now, heading towards the other end of the hall, it was pretty late already, after all. And he had probably pushed Albedo enough for one night.

"Tennyson?"

He stopped, turning back to Albedo now in confusion. "Hm?"

"Leaving now?" Albedo asked, his voice not giving anything away, but Ben found that funny, because there was only a few reasons why someone would ask that anyways.

Still, he tried to not smile. "Yeah, it's kinda late."

Albedo nodded, looking down, before pushing off the wall headed in the other direction, back towards where the cells were.

"Albedo."

This time Albedo stopped and glanced towards him. "Goodnight." Ben said, keeping a smile off his face with effort.

"Goodnight." Albedo returned, sounding stiff. Ben didn't leave right away though, watching Albedo reluctantly head off to where he allowed the Plumbers to lock him back up, and even then, leaving felt harder than usual, but still, he finally turned away.


	2. 5am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -originally uploaded on FanFiction under my account Jane Glass-
> 
> Enjoy-

_What an awful sound._

Ben reached over to the bedside table, desperate to shut his phone off, clicking anything to make it stop. However, not seconds later it was going off again. And again. Finally Ben sits up on his elbow, too exhausted to keep up this battle, he answers his phone. "Hello?" His voice was clearly heavy with sleep still, and he glanced up to clock to see it was exactly 5am. The clock seemed to stay on 5am, haunting him, or maybe he was just that sleepy. He didn't know, at this point.

"Ben-"

But whatever they said what to garbled for him to understand. It sounded like Rook though. "Sorry, what?" Ben asked, rubbing his eyes a bit before glancing back to the clock. 5am.

"It's about-" More distorted words. Ben frowned, "Sorry, I didn't get that? Hello, Rook?"

"It's about Albedo, Ben. Hurry."

The clock stared back at him still. 5am.

* * *

He wasn't sure how long he had been laying awake, but when his phone suddenly goes off he jumps at the sound and quickly leans up on his elbow, glancing at the clock while grabbing his phone. He shook his head, it was already 1pm. "Hey."

"Ben? Are you alright?"

He hated that Rook sounded worried, made him feel worse for laying around most of the morning. "Ahh...yeah. I'm okay, Rook."

"You do not sound okay, though?" He sounded uncertain.

"Um, just tired, I guess?" He got up as he spoke, grabbing his blue jeans, and there was silence for a moment on the other end.

"Do...you want to talk about anything?" Rook asked then, sounded more concerned than he had.

Ben frowned at that, "Bad dream, okay? I'll live though."

"Ah. Alright. However, if you want to talk about it, I am here for you, Ben." Rook told him, then, making Ben laugh a little without meaning to.

He grabbed a clean green jacket from the closet and headed for the door then, "Thanks, Rook. I mean it."

"And yet, you were laughing at me..." He pointed out defensively.

"Nah, it's just...it was just a dream, you know? But thank you, for the concern. Really."

"Of course, Ben."

"I'm on my way over now, by the way." Ben told him quickly.

"Do you want me to accompany you?"

"Ah..." he paused, thinking about Albedo, "Maybe? I'm not sure yet. Maybe you could, just at first, and leave a little later? I just, don't know...if he does anything like..._that_ again, I wouldn't—I can't, be by myself, like that-"

"I know, I understand, Ben. I'll be there then, don't worry."

"Thanks, man."

* * *

While Ben appreciated Rook accompanying him, it was clear from the way Albedo looked —the little things Ben could pick up on, anyways —that he didn't appreciate it so much. But somehow, Ben didn't care that he caught a mild glare his way, because Rook was only doing him a favor. In the end, the precaution was Albedo's fault, though he might've not realized.

"Tennyson, Rook," Albedo greeted blankly before glancing back down to his, uh, lunch. Ben didn't envy his Plumber's prison food.

"Morning," Ben said casually, before realizing his mistake.

Albedo sneered and looked up from his food. "It's hardly 'morning', now."

Not saying anything, Ben took a seat on one of the hard chairs just on the other side of the glass. Rook leaned against the wall a little then, crossing his arms, and a heavy silence settled over the three of them, until Albedo put the tray aside. "So, now it takes two people to watch me? Afraid I might," he paused, "Suddenly become dangerous?"

Ben glared back at him, seeing that Albedo was trying to be subtle in his ways of getting rid of Rook.

"Ah, Ben, I should go now." Rook said, though, standing up straight, ready to leave. Ben stood though, "No, that's fine, I'll go. After all, he's right, doesn't take two of us, so you can stay and watch him."

He turned to try to find a reaction from Albedo, who looked like he hadn't expected that, but he quickly glanced away again when he saw Ben watching him. Well, Ben figured, if Albedo couldn't even ask, why should he do what he thinks Albedo wants? No, he wasn't gonna do that, instead he returned Rook's farewells and went on his way, enjoying his free time to look for crime or talk to Max. He could do anything today, after all. Seeing as he didn't have to watch Albedo now.

Which, was a good thing, and a bad thing. On one hand, it was good to see him more lively than yesterday —more so, after that dream —but the attitude, directed towards Rook, at that, annoyed him. Yet, he was bored now, without having to watch or, rather, spend time with Albedo.

It was only a few hours later though, when Rook called him. "Hello?"

"Hello, Ben."

"How's Albedo?" Ben asked, only...mildly interested.

Rook paused, before answering though, "Well. I think he is brooding. Ben, what are you doing right now?"

"Why do you ask?" Ben frowned at the question.

"I just think, you spending time with Albedo is a better idea. He clearly prefers you?"

"Well, I didn't hear him ask." Ben mumbled with a shrug he knew Rook couldn't see.

"Yes, but Ben. You know how he is. He has had trouble with talking as much since-"

"I know, I know. I get it. I guess, I just feel like, unless he asks, I shouldn't do just what he wants, you know? He has to learn."

"This...sounds like it is more about you wanting him to ask, than him actually needing to." Rook pointed out sheepishly.

"Oh, what the heck! Come on..."

"Ben?"

"Yeah, hold on, losing the game," Ben said in a rush, but it was too late, the game over screen coming up the next moment. "Dammit."

"Look, Ben, I am just saying, he is...unwell, maybe you should sometimes do things that he does not always deserve...if he gets worse, or does it again-"

"I know. I get it... It's just frustrating." Ben mumbled, then he sighed and stood up from his bedroom floor.

"So, you are coming back?" Rook asked after a moment.

Ben tried to force himself to think about it, but it was hard. Part of him thought it served Albedo right, but that was petty, wasn't it? Another side of him wanted nothing more than to go back and get Albedo, spend the rest of the day with him, and put it behind them. But he was in a bad mood, and it was difficult to think about being around him.

"Um, no." He cleared his throat uncomfortably, "No, I'm not."

"Ben..."

"I can't, Rook. But I hope everything goes well." He hung up quickly.

* * *

After a boring day of video games, food, walking around, food, more video games, watching TV and some more video games, he had fallen asleep rather early, and was woken abruptly to his phone going off again.

He sat up quickly, sweating heavily, and the first thing he did was look at the clock to see it was only 2am. He frowned, panting a little, though he wasn't sure why, but he had a guess that it involved a nightmare. He grabbed the phone and answered it after a few seconds, anyways. "Hello?"

"I am sorry for waking you-"

"It's fine, it's fine," Ben said quickly, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. "Everything okay?" He asked, feeling a strange rush of panic.

"Yes, everything is fine, he is fine. Apparently he has requested you, though."

"He what?" Ben asked, more confused, but less concerned.

He didn't know what to expect when he showed up not long later. He wasn't sure how this would go, either. He found that, his anger and frustrations had mostly subsided, and it helped that he just woke up, too. He couldn't stay angry when he woke up feeling so...anxious. He was reminded, once again, why being angry with Albedo was pretty much pointless, especially for such...petty reasons.

This reminder only grew when he walked down the hall and into the room, quickly spotting the white haired teen on the chair outside of his cell, with Rook standing over him, leaning on the wall a little. They both glanced up when Ben walked up to them, but it was Albedo who handed him a note.

Frowning, Ben unfolded and was not surprised at what was written there.

Ben nodded slightly, then tilted his head to tell Rook that he could go. Rook stared at him, looking concerned, though. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah —yes." Ben mumbled, nodding again, and Rook nodded back before glancing to Albedo, and then finally walking out.

"How are you?" Ben asked, trying to be casual. He knew the question itself didn't matter, but he only asked because he needed something to ask, something to start with, because he didn't know how to approach him right now.

Shrugging, Albedo looked up at him. Ben could tell he would be quieter again this time, and he felt a pulse of regret at his reaction to Albedo's spiteful behavior the other day.

He moved to sit on the chair next to Albedo then, not looking at him now, but instead staring down at his shoes. Somehow, he felt like apologizing; though he couldn't say why. He hadn't really...done anything, to apologize for. Still, knowing that Albedo had wanted him here, and knowing that he never knew how to say that...well, it both frustrated Ben as much as it hurt him.

"Surprised you handed me the note yourself." Ben mumbled after a few minutes passed in silence, and he finally tucked the note into the pocket of his jeans.

"Why?"

"I get the feeling...you don't know how to just, ask me." Ben said, trying to thread lightly. He knew it would be a sensitive, if not difficult, subject.

"That's," Albedo paused, shifting awkwardly in his seat, "I don't expect that I have that privilege."

Ben couldn't help looking at him now, trying to read past the guard he kept up almost all the time, but Albedo didn't meet his eyes, his own red eyes and monotonous expression giving nothing away. But something Ben did pick up on was how uneasy he seemed. He'd never thought of Albedo as someone who could be fidgety, but he apparently Ben was wrong. He could be or at least, he was, right now.

Maybe it was just because he was feeling anxious or nervous or something, but he kept moving his legs, sometimes scrubbing his shoes against the floor quietly, as his hands looked for something to do, and he'd end up picking at spots on his jeans, or messing with his hands. It was something he had never expected to see.

Without thinking, he nudged him lightly with his arm against Albedo's, causing those red eyes to finally meet his in confusion. Ben stared back at him, not knowing what to say, but he cleared his throat and tried anyways, to find something. "Just...relax some, okay?"

Albedo nodded sharply and looked away again. "Fine."

Sighing, Ben leaned back in his own chair. They were hard back chairs, and not really comfortable at all. He was tempted to take Albedo back to his place, or anywhere else, really. But he knew he had to tell Albedo something first. If he just got angry every time without ever telling Albedo the problem, or helping Albedo to understand, then the blame wouldn't be entirely on Albedo.

"Look...it's not a privilege if it helps you. If asking for me—for whatever reason that you do—helps you, and that's something you need, then it's not a privilege."

"And what have I done, to deserve this help?" Albedo asked, glancing back to Ben with a icy look.

Ben frowned, trying to understand what Albedo meant exactly. Trying to see it from his angle was hard though. "I—nothing, but, everyone kinda deserves some help, you know?"

"Why? You could leave me in my cell. What ever happened to that, huh? That's what you used to do."

"You know why..." Ben shook his head. He couldn't believe Albedo would ask him that.

"Because of what happened?" Albedo asked, his words causing a chill to run down Ben's spine, and all at once it was suddenly too hot in the small room outside of his holding cell.

"Well, yeah." Ben said after a moment, his throat tight.

"Why?" Albedo asked again, sounding more annoyed. "I still deserve to be locked away, don't I? And yet I've gained pity, and sympathy. What if I told you I did this all just to trick you into letting me out?"

"I know for a fact you didn't."

"How so?"

Ben looked at his shoes again, remembering that night, seeing it all as if he were there again, walking in rush, because what he'd heard Rook say over the phone. And yet, it wasn't because he had cared about him. Not personally. But he shook his head, trying not to think about that night.

"You didn't...plan that. Because your 'plan' would've almost been a failure, if you had."

And just like that, Albedo had nothing to say. Ben looked over at him to see Albedo staring at his hands in his lap again.

Ben felt more regret, wishing he hadn't said that, or at least, had said that differently. He shook his head. Regrets wouldn't help anyone.

He stood from the uncomfortable hard back chair then. "Hey, let's go somewhere else, okay?"

Albedo frowned, but followed him. "Somewhere...else? Why?"

"I don't know. It's not very comfortable here. You know, let's just go back to my place actually."

Albedo didn't say anything to that, but continued to silently follow Ben out of the room and down the hall, the only sound was the sound of their footsteps, echoing slightly off the walls.


	3. Scared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -originally uploaded on FanFiction under my account Jane Glass-
> 
> Enjoy-

Though Ben hadn't planned it, or intended for it, they ended up stopping at a Mr. Smoothies for delicious smoothies to go, before heading back home. Ben only hoped his mom wouldn't be up this time, he didn't think him or Albedo would be up for talking to her tonight. Not that Ben disliked his mom, but because he was exhausted and his mind was in a dark and stressful place lately.

Worrying about Albedo so much, not wanting to worry about him, and nightmares, on top of that, were driving him insane. So overall he wasn't having the greatest of weeks.

When they got back, though, it was quiet in the dark house. Ben held a hand up to tell Albedo to stay still, and the two waited for a moment, in the dark living room, before Ben nodded, and they continued on to his room.

"Ahh...this is much better." Ben mumbled, mostly to himself as he shut the bedroom door as quietly as possible, before quickly turning on the light.

It was clear that once again, Albedo would need a moment to relax, he was obviously uncomfortable in the small, messy room, and Ben watched as he hesitated before settling on sitting on the floor rather than on Ben's bed, or at the desk in the corner of the room.

"You wanna play more games or something?" Ben asked then, and Albedo glanced up at him, taking a long sip of his smoothie, and shrugged with one shoulder.

Ben sat on the floor next to him then, leaning back against the side of his bed. He almost felt too tired to play games even, still, he thought about it, because otherwise, what would they do? Have an awkward conversation?

Though it was 3 something in the morning, and Ben was already all video-gamed out from an overdose of it earlier that day. He drank some more of his smoothie as he stared at his room.

"I didn't expect you to actually...come by." Albedo said quietly, making Ben glance at him. In the low light of the lamp from his desk he could see a look of something like confusion on Albedo's face.

"What?" Maybe it was because Ben was tired, or maybe because Albedo was just...weird, in general but, either way, Ben found himself frowning at Albedo's words. He had an idea of what he meant, but still, he didn't want to jump to conclusions as he sometimes did—okay, maybe more than just sometimes.

"When I requested you...I just, didn't expect that to work."

Ben shook his head. "I don't... I mean, why? I want to help you. So, of course I would?"

Albedo turned to look at him too, now. "Why do you want to help me? I've been nothing but trouble for you. I know it. Why do you suddenly care?"

"Because someone has to. Look, I won't lie, I wanted someone else to help you, but if no one else will, I'm willing to. Because on some level...I do care. I always have. I don't like you either, but...you don't deserve-"

"So it goes back to that? Suddenly I deserve sympathy all for that? Ridiculous."

Ben glared at him, but tried hard to choose his words carefully. "No. No, it doesn't change anything...but, I have always cared about you on some level. So yes, when no one else would take it, and I got pulled into it, I was willing to at least put up with you. Because I don't think anyone would deserve that, okay? There are some things that, even the people I hate don't deserve. It's not sympathy. It's just...doing the right thing."

He could see Albedo swallow hard before glancing down, his grey-white hair falling into his face slightly. And then he nodded, without saying anything, and Ben felt as if maybe Albedo was starting to understand. "So, I need you to promise me something." Ben said then, trying to meet his eyes, and finally Albedo glanced up and Ben stared at him.

"What...is it, first?" He asked.

"I need you to promise to let me help you. Let me do my job here."

Ben could see the hesitation on his face, and Albedo shook his head a little bit then, almost unnoticeable.

"Albedo?"

"It doesn't make sense." Albedo mumbled, "It would be easier to let me..."

"No," Ben cut him off, though, unable to hear that, "No. Not to me. So just promise you'll let me? Because I'm really trying to help you. I want to."

Albedo gave him a frustrated look. "But why? Because you care? Because it's right? Because you can't let me? Why?"

"Because I don't want anyone to, okay?"

Albedo stared at him, and for once, he really stared at him, as if he was looking through Ben. Ben almost pulled back, feeling a chill run up his back.

"You're selfish." Albedo's words were said so quietly, Ben almost didn't catch it, even with them sitting so close. And then, Ben didn't know what to say. He sat still, shocked at Albedo's words and his cold voice to match.

"How is that selfish?" He asked after what felt like a long time, but he knew it was less than a minute.

"Because it's not like you would care. It's because you think it's 'right' and because, and more importantly, you just don't want to see anyone like that. You're just scared. A scared little boy."

Ben glared at him, suddenly more angry than he had been since before he started watching Albedo. He was trying to help him here, and Albedo thought he could say something like that? To mock him and be so snarky while Ben was supposed to be helping him, and when all he wanted so for Albedo to let him? And then, just like that, and before he could think better of it, he was bringing his hand up and swinging it forward. He punched him.

Albedo fell back a bit, partly because of the impact, and partly because of shock. He stared at Ben, sitting up slightly, and he roughly set down the drink before lurching forward and punching Ben all at once. Ben fell, reaching up to grab at Albedo as Albedo punched him again, and finally Ben managed to pull at his hair, making Albedo hiss.

Managing to kick him in the shin, Ben almost had the upper hand on him, but Albedo suddenly leaned forward, pressed his arm against Ben's neck, his other hand trying to pull Ben's hand from his hair. Ben struggled to breathe in his attempt to push Albedo off, but he felt completely stuck as he uselessly pulled and clawed at Albedo's arm.

It was then, though, that Albedo let out a shocked and pained gasp, pulling away from him quickly. Ben took the chance to get revenge, but as soon as he made a move to grab at Albedo, Albedo quickly grabbed his wrists instead. "Stop."

"What? Afraid of the 'scared little boy'?" He asked him bitterly, watching for Albedo's reaction. But Albedo had his guard back up again, his jaw set and his eyes cold, but not angry. He wasn't giving much away. That didn't matter to Ben that much right now.

Still, it seemed like Albedo was at a loss for words, but before Ben could think of any way to mock him for it, Albedo finally spoke up, quietly. "You don't want to wake your parents up."

"It doesn't matter." Ben snapped. Hilarious that Albedo wanted to use that to his advantage though.

Albedo stared back at him, frowning a little now. "Please."

"I'm selfish."

"That's not what I meant, Ben." Albedo told him quickly, "I just meant...you were there. You're scared."

Ben bit his lip, wanting to punch him again so badly it almost hurt him. "Albedo..."

"You are. You're scared. You're terrified of what you saw, aren't you? You don't want to see that again. But you're scared that you will. You're scared that I'll try to..."

Ben pulled his wrists free, only to grab Albedo by his shirt instead —because if he didn't, he would hit something. Or someone. "Is it so selfish that I don't want anyone to end their lives? Tell me, how it's selfish that I don't want you to kill yourself!" He shook him then, his rage and frustrations and worries pouring into his words enough to nearly make his voice crack on the last words.

"Because you're only helping me, because you don't want to see me like that. If I died, and you never knew, you wouldn't care. You're selfish, because you just want to help people if it helps you."

He didn't know what to say. He never really thought of it that way. But then, was being selfish so wrong? If it was for a good reason? No...it wasn't selfish. "No. If that's the case, I could've left you in that cell. I could've declined all of this!"

"Then why didn't you?" Albedo asked him, his voice harsh, and he had that tone in his voice that told Ben that Albedo thought he knew it all. That he was right.

"Because-"

"Don't, don't go on and on about how you care. Spare us both, and give me actual reasons, not that it's the 'right thing' or that you care, or that I don't deserve it. Just don't."

Ben stared down at his hands, then he met Albedo eyes again and glared at him icily. "Why did you do it?"

"What?"

"You heard me."

"No," Albedo shook his head, "I'm not answering that."

"Fine, fine. Let me explain this in a way that you'll understand. I hate you. I want you to stop bothering me, so letting you do that, would make things easier, wouldn't it?"

Albedo didn't say anything when Ben paused, only nodded, so Ben kept going. "I don't want anyone to do that, though. Because...I don't like people getting hurt. I don't like people dying. It's my job to save those people, usually. And when people take their lives into their own hands? It's worse. So no. I'm not selfish. I'm the opposite for wasting my time on you."

He let go of him then, roughly shoving him back, and then he stood up, walking off to the other side of the room in hopes of calming down some. He glanced back at him after a moment, and he breathed in before exhaling, watching Albedo. "Listen," Ben said then, when he felt less like hitting him. "The sooner you just...accept, that I have my reasons? The better. You want me to help you, right? That's why you wanted me there earlier."

Albedo nodded then, but didn't say anything, just staring down at his arms, hidden by sleeves.

Walking back over to him, Ben reminded himself repeatedly to not start anything else with him. He tried to choose his words carefully. "If you want me to be there, why do you do this? Why fight with me like this?"

"You punched me first-" Albedo started, and Ben quickly put a hand up. "Not what I mean, okay? Just...why not believe me? Why do you feel the need to tell me I'm selfish or whatever?"

Albedo looked up at him, looking lost, and it was a strange sight to Ben. He shrugged a little then, picking at his sleeve as he glanced down to avoid Ben's eyes, but after a moment he responded. "It's just strange. It doesn't make sense."

"You don't know why I care? That's what it is. You can't figure out why I'm bothering."

He stayed silent, but nodded after a second. Ben nodded too then. "That's okay. But, if you want me to be there, you can't keep questioning me. It just makes me frustrated, and I feel like every time I get angry with you, it's easier to stay away from you. So, can you promise me something?"

Red eyes stared back at him, but again, he stayed silent.

"Promise me, you'll let me be here for you. Even if it doesn't make sense to you."

A minute or two passed in silence, but Albedo nodded again, then. "I promise."

"Good." Ben sat down on his bed next to where Albedo was on the floor, sighing. He was even more tired than he already was before all of this, but he didn't feel like taking Albedo back. That would take longer, and he just wanted to sleep now.

"Hey."

Albedo glanced up. "Yes?"

"Do you mind staying here tonight?" Ben asked him. Not that Albedo had that much of a choice, but Ben didn't want to annoy him by being bossy about it. And if Albedo really wanted to go back, Ben would listen to him. Because that mattered to Ben.

"I don't mind."

Ben stood up then, deciding that one of them would be sleeping on the floor. If they slept on his bed it would be too uncomfortable, since his bed wasn't very big, and he knew neither of them wanted to be close right now—or, heck, ever, for that matter.

He got a make-shfit bed ready on the floor then, complete with blankets and a pillow. "You can have the bed." Ben told him then.

"I don't..." Albedo sighed, "I would prefer the floor."

He stared at him for a moment, before finally nodding. "Fine, alright." Ben climbed into bed then, too exhausted to really argue his point. "Sleep well, okay?" He added as he glanced at Albedo, watching him get in his own 'bed'. Albedo nodded at him, but didn't say anything, and Ben decided to let it go, closing his eyes.


	4. Indistinct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -originally uploaded on FanFiction under my account Jane Glass-
> 
> Enjoy-

He woke up abruptly at 5am, breathing heavy and his pulse was loud in his ears. "Albedo." He said then, struggling with the blankets to stand up, but when his foot finally touched the floor it was wet. He glanced down, his pulse quickening somehow. Where he stood was colored red by something thick. He swallowed hard, almost gagging at the sight, but he quickly looked around for the white haired teen, only to see more red.

"No, no." He said quickly, under his breath. "Albedo?" He stepped forward, looking all over his room. And when he finally spotted him, his phone suddenly went off.

"Ben!"

He tried to sit up, almost clashing his head against Albedo's, but Albedo roughly pushed him back down. "It's okay, it's okay." Albedo told him quickly, his voice somehow softer than usual. Ben found himself so confused by that alone that he stopped trying to fight him.

Albedo loosened his grip on his arms, but stayed there, sitting over him. "Are you alright now?"

He nodded shortly. "Was it, uh-I was, having a nightmare?"

"Yeah." Albedo mumbled, smoothing his hand across Ben's arm, but Ben wasn't sure he noticed that he was doing that, or if it was a subconscious thing. Either way, it helped somehow, even while it pained him.

Still, he didn't reach up to stop him, the small motion relaxing him. He closed his eyes, and a small part of him was so grateful. He was used to dealing with nightmares by himself—because who wasn't? But having Albedo here was calming, for so many reasons. A main reason being that he didn't have to panic or wonder if he was okay or not. He knew now, because Albedo was here.

He reached up with his left hand to grab Albedo's hand and hold it in his own without thinking. Albedo stared at him then, and Ben suddenly felt his face heat up. He wanted to thank him, for being here, for waking him up, and for being so different, from how he normally was. But that would be weird. This was weird.

He pulled his hand back after a moment, and Albedo stared at him longer, before pulling away, settling for sitting on the edge of the bed instead. Ben sighed quietly, sitting up then and running his hands through his hair.

"Do you have bad dreams often?" Albedo asked him suddenly, and Ben quickly looked at him.

"Huh? I mean, yeah. Why?"

Albedo shook his head. "Ah, nothing. Just..."

"Yes?" Ben pushed him.

"Are they usually about me?" Albedo asked then, glancing down as soon as he asked that. But his tone was still soft, and Ben knew he wasn't making fun of him. He didn't look like causing trouble, he looked like he felt bad for asking, actually. Ben sighed again. "How did you know? Or are you guessing?"

"You said my name." Albedo told him simply, and this time Ben glanced away from him for a moment. Somehow that being said out loud made him feel bad, or stupid. Or pathetic. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that there was a lot of pain in his chest.

"Yeah." He admitted after a minute. "They've been about you."

Albedo didn't say anything for a moment, and Ben was quick to say something first then. He couldn't help himself. "Don't laugh." He snapped, but on the inside he was panicking.

"Ben, really?" Albedo asked, raising an eyebrow, but he shook his head. "I mean, I don't know if that would be fair of me."

"You think I'm pathetic." Ben pointed out then, because they both knew it was true.

"And I also think it's weird of you to still try to help me. But I stayed up last night, trying to accept that you have a reason. So, I'm trying."

"What? You? Trying to not mock me every chance you get? Thank goodness."

Albedo rolled his eyes and looked away, but Ben couldn't help laughing a little. He felt better. Despite the nightmare, despite their fight, and despite the fact that he knew this was going to be tough, even now. He felt better.

He moved to get out of bed then, but stopped when he was next to Albedo. His room was filled with light being filtered in through the curtains on his windows, and sitting next to Albedo, he noticed the way he was crossing his arms seemed strange, he couldn't help staring for a moment.

"What?" Albedo asked, but Ben didn't answer, lightly grabbing his arm, but Albedo flinched immediately. "Don't." He snapped at Ben.

Ben frowned at him, grabbing his hand again instead. "It's okay." He told him, lightly pulling his hand. Albedo was tense next to him, but let Ben pull his hand, moving his arms apart, and Ben noticed the strange stain on the sleeve of his red coat right away. It was hard to tell what it was, but somehow he realized quickly what the dark stain was, and he tugged at his sleeve, but Albedo pulled away again. "I said don't."

"It's-did-I hurt you last night? That's why?" He stumbled over his words in a rush to get them out, but it didn't matter. He was too shocked to care about that. Yes, he knew they hurt each other, but this...it was a little different.

"No, only a bit. It's fine."

Ben couldn't look away though. "Are you okay, though? I didn't tear any stitches?" He actually wasn't sure Albedo had stitches, but he felt the need to make sure.

"I said it's fine." Albedo told him, his voice telling him to back off. Ben nodded after a moment of thinking about it, then he stood, but it didn't feel right.

"Albedo-"

"It's fine." Albedo repeated.

"No, ah...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Not really."

Albedo nodded. "Seriously, Ben, it's fine."

Ben didn't think it was really 'fine' but he left it alone, heading off to get ready for the day, and then they both headed down for breakfast. Ben's mom was surprised to see him up so early (And making breakfast! So grown up!) but she seemed really happy too, even with Albedo there, and Ben was glad of that.

Still, not much was said over breakfast—well, aside from his mom talking, but Ben didn't feel up to talking that much, and so it was mostly small-talk or little things. Like she would ask, "So anything interesting lately?"

And he would respond by telling her a bit about the Plumbers, or something else he thought she would be interested in, or at least, something that he felt he could tell her about. There were something that were...well, off limits. Or in his mind they were, at least.

"And how've you been, Albedo?" She asked, taking a long sip of coffee. She looked really tired still, but she had always been good at smiling and being social no matter what, something that Ben found he was jealous of more often than not.

"I'm fine." Albedo mumbled, and Ben could tell he didn't like the attention, but his mom smiled.

"That's good to hear. Have you been feeling better, then?" She asked then with a small look of concern.

Albedo didn't respond this time though, focusing instead on his own cup of coffee. Trying not to smile, Ben cleared his throat a little and decided to help him. "Mom, it's something that's probably gonna take a while to work out, you know? And it's not something he's comfortable talking about."

The kick to his shin was something he probably deserved, but he couldn't help openly smiling now, but he hid it as well as he could behind his hand.

His mom didn't seem to notice, at least. "Ah...alright. I'm sorry then."

"It's okay. He knows you didn't mean any harm." Ben told her, and he got kicked again. He glanced over to Albedo then, his hand still covering his mouth, and Albedo only glared back.

"Something wrong, Al?" Ben couldn't help asking.

"What do you think?" Albedo hissed lowly, and his mom looked confused by the exchange, but didn't say anything as she went back to eating.

"I think you must not be feeling well." Ben said as seriously as he could manage.

Albedo didn't say anything to that, instead he went back to focusing on his coffee, shooting Ben looks every now and then, which Ben pretended to not notice. Soon they were finished eating though, and Ben helped his mom clean the dishes before deciding to head off. "He's actually supposed to see his doctor again today."

"Well, that's alright. And remember you can always come by here whenever you want, Ben." His mom reminded him quickly with a hug.

"I know, mom." Ben said, nodding, but as much as he loved his mom, he couldn't wait to get away again. Part of the reason he liked to make jokes out of Albedo and make it about him instead was because conversations about himself never went well. Things like "are you dating anyone" and "what have you been up to lately" usually ended quickly, and weren't great conversation starters for him.

The answer was always "nope" and "saving the world", which his mom was pretty bored of, as it was the same answer for years now.

He left the kitchen after a quick "I'll visit when I can", and started to look for Albedo, who left when they started to clean up—typical. Thankfully it didn't take long to find him, but Ben had expected to find him sitting on the couch, not back in Ben's room. "Hey, you ready to go?"

Albedo stood without saying anything, waiting for Ben, so Ben didn't bother questioning him, and they left, heading back to the Plumbers.

"You know, you could've waited on the couch." Ben ended up saying on the ride there, glancing over to Albedo, who shrugged. "I didn't feel like it."

Ben continued to watch him, wondering what he meant, but he decided to let it drop, focusing on driving instead.

When they got back to Albedo's holding cell Rook was already there, looking at something on his phone before noticing them. "Ah, Ben, Albedo, welcome back."

"Hi, Rook," Ben greeted him back, "Just dropping Albedo off. He's supposed to have an appointment, right?"

Rook nodded, glancing to Albedo. "He does. I can take care of that though, Ben. And how are you feeling?" The last bit was clearly directed at Albedo, who looked down at that. It didn't seem like he was planning to answer him, and it was frustrating to watch. He had been pretty talkative the other night. And yet, here he was, avoiding eye contact and staying silent.

Sighing, Ben spoke up instead. "He seems okay. I mean, we kinda ended up fighting last night. But...I think he's doing somewhat better." He shrugged, but Rook nodded at the information.

"Oh, also, Ben, his therapist was wondering if you would come in sometime with Albedo?"

Ben frowned. "Ah...sure?"

"Alright. I will talk to him about it first, but I will let you know what the decision is." Rook told him, and Ben nodded.

"Alright then. I'll see you later, Albedo." Ben said then, and Albedo stared back at him, before nodding slightly.

Ben felt strange to leave him so soon now, but he didn't know how to stall, without seeming strange. He swallowed with difficultly, looking towards the hall, and the door at the end. Why was it so difficult? He sighed, quickly glancing back to Albedo, before hugging him. It was brief, and only lasted seconds, but Albedo still seemed shocked. He didn't seem upset or angry, just shocked.

But Ben didn't stay around to explain anything, heading down the hall instead.


	5. Bandages

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Thank you for all the comments, kudos and love in general! <3
> 
> Also for anyone who really enjoys this story or my other stories, and likes BenxAlbedo, I recently uploaded "Christmas And 3am Conversations" which has some similar themes to this one. 
> 
> -also uploaded on FanFiction under my account Jane Glass-
> 
> Enjoy-

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, and he couldn't even find any villains to deal with. Sure, he stopped a small thievery, but it wasn't much, and he found himself feeling like he could be doing more. Still, he settled for the small victory and thought he would play some video games to 'celebrate', but he didn't feel like doing much of that.

He ended up quickly and quietly leaving his home—thankfully his mom wasn't awake—to drive around for a while by himself. He stopped for a bit to look at the stars, laying on the hood of his car, but it wasn't the same as it was when it was him, Gwen and Kevin. He really missed them, even more so in that moment, but he had to remind himself that it wasn't entirely his fault.

With her and Kevin both living their own lives, and together, at that, they couldn't really visit, all that often. Still, they talked on the phone often enough, and Gwen tried to keep him apart of her life as much as she could.

Though, maybe avoiding them the last time they did visit was his fault. And maybe the few other recent times he avoided them, was also on him. He could admit that. He just couldn't really admit why. Because he didn't even understand his reasoning sometimes. He couldn't understand his own mind, his own thoughts, when he got like that.

Well, maybe he could understand it better than he'd ever admit though. But none of that meant that he didn't miss them. He did miss them, badly, even though he knew he would probably avoid them again.

He sighed to himself, closing his eyes. When had his life gone from kinda complicated to so very complicated? Being normal wasn't something he was known for, but he just wished he could at least be somewhat normal, if only for a day. And then maybe all of this wouldn't be as hard, but he knew wishes didn't happen like that. Only he could make his wish come true.

And maybe that's how he would fix this.

He nodded, the idea forming in his mind and becoming something more of a plan. That's what he would do. He'd work himself out, and hopefully before Gwen and Kevin visit again. But he wasn't going to stress on that tonight. Not at what ever ungodly hour it was. Instead he pushed himself up, climbing off the car, because sitting there was just making him feel more lonely. And Ben wasn't going to sit around feeling lonely and sad all night.

After driving around aimlessly for a little bit, he found himself driving back to the Plumbers, and he figured he might as well check in on Albedo, or see if he can find Rook. At this point seeing either of them would be nice—not that he'd ever admit that to Albedo.

It didn't take very much searching to find Rook. In fact, he wasn't searching very hard for him, and was ready to go find Albedo when he did spot him.

"Ben!" Rook greeted him cheerfully as he approached him, a tablet in his hand.

"Ah, hey, Rook." Ben greeted him back, but he couldn't quite make himself smile like Rook did. It felt forced when he tried.

"Are you alright, Ben?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm perfectly fine." Ben told him quickly, and he tried to tell himself it wasn't a lie.

Rook didn't look convinced though, his smile fading quickly. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, man. Don't worry about me."

"I can tell when you are not being honest with me." Rook told him quietly, looking uncomfortable, and Ben instantly felt bad for even trying.

He glanced down, unable to meet Rook's worried gaze. "It's, uh...I'll be okay. I guess I've been thinking a lot."

"About?" Rook asked him, his tone was careful though, as if he was worried anything might set Ben off. Ben didn't know if that should make him feel better or worse. He felt worse though.

"Life and stuff, nothing really to be worried about." He shrugged, hoping that his easy-going act would relax Rook some.

Rook nodded, but he kept watching him with concern. "'Life and stuff' is something that would worry anyone, I think."

"Yeah, but...look, I'm fine, okay?"

"Ben, is this about how you are...ah, different? Or that you feel like a 'failure'?"

Ben glanced around, glad that they were almost completely alone. "It's-it's not...not that."

Rook frowned. "So it is?"

"Maybe, okay!" Ben rolled his eyes, but tried to keep his voice better controlled...along with his temper. "I've been thinking about it, yes. Doesn't matter. I'm fine. So don't worry about me."

"Friends are meant to worry about each other, are they not?"

"They are. But I'm saying, don't worry about me anymore than normally." Ben tried to explain.

Rook nodded a little, but he still didn't look happy with this, and he didn't seem like he was ready to change the subject. "Were you thinking about telling them, or...?"

"Oh, no. Not at all."

"Then, what?"

Ben glanced away, not knowing how to say what he was really thinking, and not knowing if he should. He swallowed with difficultly as he met Rook's eyes again. "I just...I want to be normal."

"There is no such thing as normal." Rook gave him a soft smile, his voice sympathetic.

"I know. I get it. I just wish...well, it doesn't matter."

"There, there." Rook said quietly, suddenly patting Ben's head, and Ben glanced up at him in shock. Ben was about to go off on a rant that that's not how you do that at all, but Rook hugged him then, and Ben was left speechless.

"Idiot." He mumbled as he hugged him back tightly. He didn't pull back right away, either, instead he found it comforting, even though that was embarrassing to think about.

But after a minute or two—or maybe three, he pulled away, scratching at the back of his neck and feeling awkward. Thankfully Rook didn't pick up on that. "I should probably get back to work, unless you need me for something?"

Ben quickly shook his head. "No, that's okay. I might go see Albedo for a bit though."

"Ah, alright then. If you take him with you, text me, that way I can notify the guards, and so I know where he is."

"Of course." Ben nodded, giving a quick wave and saying he'd see Rook later—as if that wasn't clear, that they would see each other again some time—before heading to Albedo's holding cell.

Albedo only glanced up from where he was laying on his bed when he heard Ben's footsteps, but when he spotted Ben he sat up a bit, looking tired.

"Hey." Ben wasn't entirely sure what to say, he felt strange, and he didn't know why. Still, he unlocked the holding cell, because he figured visiting Albedo was at least his job.

"Kind of late to be visiting, isn't it?" Albedo asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Ben almost felt bad.

"Weren't you asking for me pretty late last night?" Ben retorted, but he hoped it was clear enough that he didn't mean anything by it.

Albedo gave him a look, and Ben thought if he didn't look so tired, he might look a little more annoyed. "Is there something you need, Tennyson?"

Shaking his head, Ben sat on the chair next to Albedo's bed this time. "Not really. Just checking in."

"Delightful." Albedo grumbled, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms. That was when Ben noticed the lack of sleeves. This time Albedo wore a black T-shirt, his arms wrapped up, all the way up to his shoulders on both sides.

He knew better than to point that out though, even if he did want to ask about it. He assumed they had to re-bandage his arms sometimes. Or maybe they re-bandaged his arms this time because Ben had hurt him, but that very thought hurt to consider.

"So," Ben cleared his throat, averting his eyes from the bandages, "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?" Albedo asked, and Ben only nodded. "I'm exhausted."

Ben smiled, despite trying hard not to. "Yeah? Don't you sleep a lot in here?"

"No, Ben, I play video games all day." He snapped sarcastically then, rolling his eyes, but the sarcasm didn't bite as much as he probably intended it to. "And yet somehow, I haven't been getting much sleep." He shrugged then, and Ben's smile faded a bit at that.

"Nightmares?" Ben asked after a second.

Albedo leaned his head back against the wall, staring at Ben as he hesitated. "There are a lot of reasons." Ben could tell he was being vague on purpose, which only bothered him more, but he reminded himself to be careful.

"Do you want to...talk about it?"

Swallowing hard, Albedo seemed to hesitate more this time, his red eyes on Ben still, and for maybe the second time ever, it felt like he was looking through Ben, and seeing something else. Or like he was looking at Ben's soul, or reading his mind. It felt strange, and Ben could only stare back.

"It's hard to sleep here." Albedo said after a moment. "And when I do, sometimes...I don't always sleep well, if I do."

"Do you get alot of nightmares?" Ben asked again.

Albedo nodded a little this time. "It is partly that. But sleeping here at all...it's nearly impossible most days. And you'd think after a day of being harassed and bothered by doctors and guards and just...people, I'd be exhausted enough to actually sleep." Albedo laughed a bit then, but it sounded lifeless and tired, without any real humor behind it.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" He asked instead, because Ben didn't know what else to do to help him. But he thought maybe he had an idea, and that was worth a try.

Albedo didn't answer either way though, instead he silently moved to get up, so Ben reached out, grabbing his hand in case he was unsteady. He would've grabbed his arm, but that was clearly not an option. And if Albedo was annoyed with Ben for grabbing his hand, he didn't show it.

Before they left the Plumbers base, Ben made sure to ask a guard to get Albedo a jacket, which had apparently been washed along with his other clothes. He also texted Rook as they headed out, which he only remembered to do at last minute, standing in the chilly night air.

"I'm glad I decided to ask about your jacket." Ben mumbled as he got in the car then, which might have been colder than the night air.

"I figured you didn't want to have to see my arms."

Ben glanced over at him in shock then, and he couldn't help the sudden anger that ran through him. "What? Why would I care about that?"

"You don't like it." Albedo shrugged easily, glancing out his window.

"No, I don't really like it, but I wouldn't-that's not why. If it was just us, yeah, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't have thought to ask."

"Oh, thank you then. I'm just so grateful that you care about what others think of me." The sarcasm was bitter, but he still sounded tired, and the mix of the two was somehow worse.

"Look, if we head back to my house, do you really want my mom to see your arms?" Ben asked him then, trying to keep his voice level instead of losing his cool.

"Face it, this isn't about me. You don't want to have to deal with people asking about me. Or perhaps you're embarrassed of me?"

Ben stared at him in frustration. "No, I just thought you cared. Because who's going to answer the stares or questions? Me? Right?"

Albedo didn't say anything to that, leaning back against his seat, and towards the window. Ben rolled his eyes and decided to let it go as best as he could, but the ride back didn't take very long and he still felt frustrated when they got there. He tried to not let it show, though, making sure Albedo didn't need help getting out, and then they were heading into the much warmer house.

But instead of taking of taking him to his room, Ben stopped in the living room, turning on a lamp. "Sit down, I'll be back."

Albedo silently did as he was told, and Ben went into the kitchen then, grabbing two mugs and it took him a few minutes to find what he was looking for—as he didn't usually stop by the house so often—but soon he had two mugs of hot chocolate, and he was stirring the mugs when his mom walked in. "Ben! I spotted Albedo and he mentioned you were in here, are you staying the night again?"

"Ah, yeah, maybe?" Ben shrugged a little as he added marshmallows to the mugs of hot chocolate.

She smiled brightly, though. "I'm glad. Mind if I sit with you two for a bit?"

He didn't want to turn her down—well, he did, but he felt bad at even thinking that. "No, not at all." He told her instead, and so him and his mom went back to the living room, him sitting next to Albedo and her sitting in the armchair, a glass of water in hand.

Ben handed Albedo one of the mugs carefully, and Albedo looked a little confused, but took it anyways, sipping on it slowly.

Unfortunately his mom was as talkative as ever, going on about her friends and their children, and then she would ask Ben about things, too, and it didn't take long for it to start to go downhill. "You know her son is getting married soon." She said at one point.

"Kinda young, but good for them I guess." Ben said quickly, keeping his tone light, but he knew what this was about.

"Twenty isn't that young." She said then, laughing a little. "Oh, but, Ben, you're nineteen."

"Yeah?"

"Well," she said slowly, "Have you found yourself a girlfriend yet?" She was smirking now, as if she thought he surely had.

He tried to laugh it off, though. "Ahh, no mom. I've been busy."

"With what?" She asked, her tone casual, with a hint of something else. Something that stung.

He shrugged, getting more uncomfortable by the second. He felt overly warm, and the mug of hot chocolate now seemed like a bad idea.

"Well, sweetie, you can't just shrug." She said lightly. "If you want, I could set you up with someone. I think I know someone you'd really think is cute. She's got black hair, and-"

"Mom, I'm fine." Ben told her quickly, before she could go on and on about this girl.

She looked somewhat offended by this. "So what, you just don't want a girlfriend?" She asked then.

He sighed, setting his mug down, and he quickly took off his jacket. It was way too warm for that now. He sat back down now, grabbing his mug again and taking a long sip to try to stall. But he couldn't stall forever. "I've just been focused on more important things, mom." He explained after a moment.

"Like what?" She asked then, raising an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes then. "With saving the world, mom."

"Well, when are you going to be done with saving the world? You have to live your life at some point, Ben. And you can't keep hiding behind that excuse."

Ben stared at her in shock then, anger boiling up inside him. "It's not an excuse!"

"Yes it is! You could do that and have a girlfriend, I don't know why you act like it's one or the other."

"It is one or the other!" He snapped back.

"No it isn't! You only say that so you're little excuse works!"

He rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever! Just believe what you want, then! You're not gonna listen to me anyways!"

"Well, I would if you would just tell me! Is it that you're trying to find the right one, or something else? You can tell me, Ben!"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." He told her instead, his pulse was loud in his ears, and his skin was still too warm somehow. He had an urge to just run. Some fresh air sounded nice right now.

"Don't be like that, Ben. What is it?"

"I said I don't want to talk about this!" He practically yelled and that was when she finally went quiet. The silence was almost too much though, and he felt like he was suffocating. He stood again, putting his mug down, but he didn't sit back down, instead he stood next to the couch. He really felt like he needed the distance.

After a moment she cleared her throat though. "Albedo, are you warm in that?"

Albedo stared at her, before shaking his head.

"Are you sure? You look warm."

"Mom, he's fine." Ben snapped, without really meaning to. It sort of just happened.

"What? Look at him, doesn't he look warm to you?" She asked in annoyance then.

He sighed, glancing at Albedo, who looked more uncomfortable now, but she had a point, he did look warm. "You okay?" He asked him then, to which Albedo only nodded. Ben sighed again, "Is it too warm for you? You can take the jacket off."

"I'm fine." Albedo told him, and Ben noticed how one of his eyes twitched slightly, something he wasn't used to picking up on, but knew was one of the reasons his lies hardly worked. And then it clicked; Albedo didn't want to take off the jacket because of the bandages. But Ben didn't know if he was doing that for Ben, or if he was doing that for himself. Either way, Ben had his chance to prove to Albedo that he really didn't mind if anyone saw Albedo's arms.

He moved back to the couch, without sitting down, and took Albedo's mug to put on the desk, then he pulled Albedo to his feet before grabbing his jacket. "Ben-what-"

"Your eye twitches when you lie too." Ben told him quietly, and Albedo didn't say anything to that, but spoke up again when Ben started to try to take the jacket off again. "Ben, the...my arms." He was quiet enough that Ben almost didn't catch that, but he managed to just hear it, and he shook his head. "It's fine, okay?"

And Albedo didn't say anything else, letting Ben take off his jacket now. Ben sat back down with Albedo then, his red jacket on Ben's arm so they didn't leave it here by mistake. His mom reacted almost as soon as they sat back down though. "Oh." Was all she said then, looking pretty shocked.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment before she spoke up again. "What happened to your arms?"

Ben glanced to Albedo who was focused on his mug of hot chocolate again, before speaking up instead. "He doesn't want to talk about it."

"I was asking Albedo." She said pointedly, and Ben could only glare at her, before glancing to Albedo, who continued to stare at his drink. "Albedo," she started again, "What happened to your arms, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I did." Albedo said bluntly, before taking another long sip of his drink.

After that, his mom ended up letting Ben shift the conversation again, and they only talked for a little bit after that, before she decided to head off to bed for the night, leaving Ben and Albedo in the quiet living room.

Ben only wished things had gone differently. He didn't want this to be stressful, for either of them. He just wanted to relax. He sighed, sipping on his drink a bit, though he was almost out of hot chocolate now.

He stood after a few minutes, glancing to Albedo who looked more tired than he had. "Hey, you done with that?" Ben asked, and Albedo handed Ben his mug silently.

Washing their mugs and a few other dishes that he found in the sink helped to calm him down a bit better, but it also left him alone in his own thoughts, which was something he would have rather avoided. He was left to re-hear the earlier conversations they had had, to think about the things he'd said, and the things he could've—maybe should've said. It was painful in more ways than one.

_"So what, you just don't want a girlfriend?"_

He sighed, scrubbing the suds around on the side of a pot, trying to get a stubborn stain to come off, while wondering why he couldn't just be more honest. Oh, if only his eye twitched whenever he told half-lies or whenever he said something that wasn't entirely true. Maybe life would be easier. Or harder. But he'd rather be honest, and have so many hate him, than live a lie just so everyone would "love" him. Because that wasn't love, what he wanted was love.

This was more like...settling for something less. But he knew there was a difference. He just wasn't sure if he was ever really loved before. Because no one really knew him. And if no one knew him, how could anyone truly love him?

He tried to push the thoughts away, but it was as if he couldn't escape it. There was no sound, no distractions, nothing to stop his thoughts or his mind. All he heard was his own thoughts, and the quiet sound of the suds and the cloth against dishes, and sometimes running water. And the silence was louder than the quiet sounds. It was so very loud.

And the eerie silence made him think of other things that he would rather forget. Like that one day—or night, depending on when you usually woke up, he guessed—at 5am. The silence on the drive there, and the silence later that night, in that white room. But now his thoughts were going to much more dangerous places, places that he had shoved back for a reason and soon he had to be done washing dishes, leaving one or two things in the sink.

When he came back to the living room Albedo was laying down on the couch, clearly asleep, and Ben felt bad for wanting to wake him up, but still, he tried anyways. He shook his shoulder a little. "Albedo?" He asked, shaking his shoulder a little bit more, "Hey."

Albedo nearly hit him as he woke up with a jolt, and Ben grabbed his wrist to stop him instinctively, before remembering he wasn't supposed to. Thankfully Albedo didn't snap at him or pull away, instead Ben let go of him before either of those things could happen, then he stepped back to give him a bit of space.

"Tennyson?" Albedo asked tiredly, sitting up.

Ben nodded a little. "Come on," he said then, offering him his hand. Albedo grabbed his hand after a moment of hesitating, and Ben pulled him up, turning off the lamp before leading him back to his room.

Ben was glad Albedo had grabbed his hand, because he stumbled quite a bit on the way there, and it was then Ben started to really wonder how much sleep Albedo had gotten in the last few days. There was no way to really know for sure, but it worried him. Well, at least it seemed like Albedo would be getting some sleep tonight.

He sat Albedo down on his bed before taking off his shoes for him, then he stood. "Want to change first?"

Albedo shook his head quickly. "It's fine."

Nodding, Ben pulled back the blankets for him instead, but Albedo moved to get up instead. "I'm not-I'll sleep on the floor."

"No, it's fine." Ben said quickly, grabbing his shoulder lightly.

"Ben-"

Ben sighed. "You need sleep, okay? Just...let me help you?"

This time Albedo sat back down, looking uncertain still, but Ben figured that was a good sign, at least. Maybe Albedo was too tired to fight. That would be nice. Finally Albedo nodded before laying down, and Ben covered him up before going to the makeshift bed on the floor that he never cleaned up, mostly because he figured he would have Albedo here again.

While the floor and makeshift bed wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep, he still felt better knowing that Albedo would get some sleep tonight.


End file.
